March 6, 2014

Hello Baby,
I am your mother. You are in my belly, and will have been there for 10.5 weeks tomorrow. You are still very very small. I can't feel you kick or move yet. But you sure make mommy throw up a lot. You hate when mommy eats spicy food or when she eats a whole bunch of food. I guess you don't like when mommy has a full stomach. When you don't make mommy throw up, I tend to freak out. I just hope that you are enjoying whatever mommy ate and just chilling.  
I have always loved spicy spicy food and tend to be craving spicy food with you. This most likely means that you are boy, which is what your father says. I would be happy either way as long as you are healthy and happy. You make mommy sleep on her left side, which also shows that you are boy. You have been giving mommy headaches which proves you are a boy. I have no idea honestly what you are. I wish that you would be a boy to make daddy's dreams come true, however there are days were I want you to be a little girl. Like I said, as long as you are healthy and we can all be together as a family. Whatever challenges do happen if you aren't born healthy, don't worry mommy and daddy will fight like heck to keep you alive and to make the best life for you. We will work together around your life challenges and fight like heck to give you a perfect life. 
Most of the time, I sit and wonder what its going to be like to be your mother. Its going to be a lot of responsibility to care for you. I worry that I will fail in some kind of way whether it be not giving you enough attention or not showing you how much you truly mean to me. You have filled mommy's heart with a ton of love and a ton of hope. Daddy has made it possible that I will be able to stay home with you for a year, however I am going to work it out with my job to possibly take you all the  with me or have daddy watch you. I don't want it to seem as though mommy can't provide for you as well. I want you to be able to feel independent and follow whatever your heart wants. I want you to be able to make mistakes and to be able to learn from them. I want to be the best that I can truly be for you. And who knows maybe that means mommy takes a whole bunch of classes online and becomes smarter as the days go by. 
I know that I am sitting here writing all about me, so for a second I will stop and tell you about your father. First and for most, I want you to know that I love your father. See your mommy used to be involved in some "not so good behavior", your daddy knew this and helped mommy quit. Your daddy is an amazing man, and I have been blessed to meet him. He is considerate and hard-working. And super excited to meet you. I think, your dad think you will be a chick magnet. He think he will be able to take you to the store and he will have women all over you. Haha. Don't worry mommy is fine with that cause I have stolen daddy's heart. Your daddy is tough minded and strong headed. He thinks he is always right and has the answers for everything. He mostly does, but at times mommy needs to correct him.  
I hope as you begin to grow and learn, my love for your father will grow to be as strong. I hope that his love will grow as well. Together, I hope that we can keep our love strong and whole. I can promise you that if the day ever comes when your daddy and I aren't together, please know that we tried to keep our love together. Also that I would never keep you from your father, I know how much you need him. And I know how much, he needs you. Together you both are two peas in a pod.  We both a crazy in love with you and will always love you thru your high points and your low points.
One thing, I can promise you for sure is that your dad and I had many great times together. We went out laughed a lot, kissed even more, and mainly agreed on a future. We dont have many pictures together, but I know once you come along that all will change. I will have dark bags under my eyes from waking up every hour to feed you. Your father will have so much gray hair, that I will forget what he looked like previously. But dont worry those will be the pictures we will love the most, because you are what connects us together. 
I guess what you can tell from this letter is that I can't wait to meet you. I am terrified of what giving birth will feel like. I even more terrified of having you in the house, because your father takes FOREVER to get ready. But in the end I am just grateful to know that I will have you. I really can't wait to meet you. I love you so much already. <3
love you always and forever plus a day.
your mother.